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Beginning Partnership With a Service Dog's Journal

8th February, 2004. 6:34 pm.

The most certain way I know to get on my bad side is to catch me when I'm tired and irritable and say things like "gee, I wish I could have a dog in the dorm," or "how come SHE gets to have a dog?" I want to turn around and just scream:
You fucking MORONS, I don't have a dog because it's fun or cute or happy or any of that shit, he's not a pet, I have a dog because I have a disability, a medical condition that I wouldn't wish on another human being on this earth, and the service dog is the only way I have to approach functioning like a normal human being! I love him dearly and I owe my life to him, but the reason I get to have him in the dorm is because I am sick, I have a life changing disability that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. You want a dog in the dorm? Well, go right ahead, and you can take all the shit that comes with it, too. Go ahead and get yourself a disabling mental illness, countless trips to the doctor, hundreds of hours of feeling like life isn't worth living, medications that you don't want to take but have to take in order to be able to get up and out of bed in the morning, numerous classes that you haven't been able to pass because you're too busy hanging on to life by the skin of your teeth to worry about what's due the next day...go get these things and THEN tell me how lucky I am that I get to have a dog in the dorm, and how much you wish you could have one, too. Yeah, I am lucky to have him. He's the only thing that's kept me alive through this personal hell I've been living. He's made the difference in my life. I have no idea where I'd be without him...probably dead. I love him dearly and he's enriched my life in so many ways. But it isn't all "what a cute puppy nice doggie I wanna play with him." It's a lot more than just having a "pet." Calling a service dog a "pet" is insulting them. These dogs are so much more than pets. They're with their handlers 24/7, providing life-saving services and support. They are elite, highly-trained service animals who do anything they possibly can to help their partners through day to day life. Calling a service dog a pet is like calling a Navy SEAL "that guy with a gun" or a brain surgeon "the guy who cuts up people." Grrrr. People just don't get it. They don't understand how insulting little things like that can be. I understand that people think I'm lucky to have a dog in the dorm, and how outwardly it might appear that way. But if they'd just take a minute to stop and think about the reasons why I need to have the dog, they might not be so jealous. Maybe then they'd understand why it makes me cringe to hear them speak so callously like that behind my back. It's such a seemingly-small thing, and a flippant comment to them...but it holds a great deal of significance for me.

Current mood: pissed off.

(6 bones Give a dog a bone)

27th January, 2004. 12:47 am.

Vote for Chester in a photo contest! Follow this link:
http://photocontest.hsus.org/moreinformation.asp?pet_id=1523

(Give a dog a bone)

24th January, 2004. 3:08 am.

Well, I have created a Service Dog website. It's called Service Dogs Save Lives! and it's located at http://www.geocities.com/bethbrake/

The site includes these sections:
What Is A Service Dog?
How Do Service Dogs Help People With Disabilities?
Who Trains Service Dogs?
How Can You Get a Service Dog?
Service Dog Laws
Photo Gallery
Service Dog Links
Service Dog Equipment
Service Dog Discussion Groups
Brochures and Educational Materials

It contains information about the Americans With Disabilities Act, and a listing of state laws for all 50 states (still under construction, with more being added every day.) Hopefully this site will prove useful to all members of the disabled community, and be helpful to Service Dog Teams and those considering getting a Service Dog or other Service Animal.

(2 bones Give a dog a bone)

6th January, 2004. 11:35 pm.

Well, tonight I started teaching Chester to wake me up when my alarm goes off. I was setting the alarm at about a two minute interval, lying down in bed, and when it went off, asking him to jump up on the bed "Come join me" and "give me a kiss." I did about seven or so repetitions, and he started to look a little bored, so I quit there. With a few days of that, I hope to have him start to respond to the alarm itself. I was using the radio alarm, but now that I'm thinking of it, I think I'll go to the beeps, as much as I hate them, as they are a distinctive sound, and similar also to smoke alarms and other fire alarms. That way there will be no confusion for him when I'm playing music on my computer or the radio. Ugh, I hate those beeps...they're so jarring! Startle me out of my skin. Maybe I should be using those anyhow...I couldn't sleep through my alarm then!!!
Well, I guess it's bedtime. I'm pretty tired, as I'm also pretty sick. I got sick on Sunday, and the new school quarter started on Monday. What super timing!! I swear, my body plans these things to make them as absolutely inconvenient as possible. :-P Anyhoo, goodnight.

Current mood: sleepy.

(3 bones Give a dog a bone)

31st October, 2003. 11:43 pm. More Halloween Happenings!

Tonight was a big night for us! As a music major, I participated with my studio of tubas and euphoniums (brass) in our annual Halloween concert, Hallo-boo-ia! I had asked my professor previously about how he felt about me having Chester onstage with me, and he replied "sure, just get him a costume!" In other concerts I've played under different professors, I've not been allowed to have him onstage due to professionalism concerns and noise issues (he has a tendency to shake or shift once in a while, as all dogs do, but he usually picks the quietest point in the music to do so!) I know, I know, he has to be allowed, but it's not an issue I wanted to push. Anyhow, Jim (professor) said that it was fine for him to come onstage with me, as the Halloween concert is traditionally highly informal. (People come up with some absolutely outrageous costumes, good and bad! We're college students, so you might imagine...) So I went to Target a few weeks ago and bought him a pumpkin costume. It was the cutest thing ever. It has little green leaf anklets for all four feet, a large plush pumpkin & leaf collar, and a hat with a stem. Ches could handle everything but the hat. When I put that on him, he dropped his head and refused to move. So we compromised. I agreed that as long as he didn't hate the rest of the costume, I wouldn't make him wear the hat. :-) He didn't mind the rest of it, he thought it was fun to be out and working. I ended up dressed up in a masquerade type of costume with a big peacock feather mask and blue velvet cape, and black velvet gloves.

We waited backstage, and Ches could tell I was nervous. He kept checking in with me. Everyone was in costume and in high spirits, and the atmosphere was pretty festive. We were second last on the program, so it was a lot of hurry-up-and-wait. Chester handled everyone cooing over him pretty well. They all loved his costume, and the "don't pet the service dog" bit went out the window pretty fast. I didn't mind terribly because they were all my friends, but I did have to gently remind a few people who were particularly insistant. So, they finally got to us, and we walked out onstage, and everyone in the audience starts going "look at the dog!" and oohing and aaahing over him, and laughing at all the other outrageous costumes in our group. (we had some cross-dressing going on, a parody of one of the gay vocalists in our school, a guy dressed as a hooters girl, one of the guys dressed as a schoolgirl complete with skirt and kneesocks, a girl dressed as a wood nymph of some sort, another girl dressed as the character from Scream, and one dressed in a white can that said TRASH on the front (get it? White trash???! Ha ha ha. I loved it. She'd made herself up with fake tattoos, and a bottle of beer, and dirt on her face. The lid was on her head, can around her torso. It was FUNNY.)) So we all got settled, and I put Chester in a down-stay, and we played. I didn't have to concern myself with him at all, he didn't think anything of being onstage with hundreds of people in the audience (we had a packed house! Best attendance all year.) He just lay there at my side and studied the audience the whole time we played. When we got up to exit the stage, he heeled like a pro, and ignored all the clapping people standing backstage, and everyone reaching to pet him. He was amazing! I can't get over how solid and steady he is. Halloween has done a great job proving that to me, concerts, haunted houses, and all. I let him off leash and out of vest on our walk home across campus, and he ran like the wind. It was beautiful to watch. He goes from an absolutely professional, serious guy, to a total goofball when he's free. He kept bouncing up to me and asking me to chase him, and doing play bows, and rolling and jumping and just having fun. Seeing how joyful he is just brings tears to my eyes. He loves life, every minute of it.

So that was our night. A big night in a lot of ways, with many, MANY distractions and new experiences. And he was a pro all the way. My boy...I can't even put into words the feelings I have for him. I owe my life to him. His gives his all for me every time I need him. I can't begin to describe what that means to me. He is my angel.

Current mood: accomplished.

(1 bone Give a dog a bone)

26th October, 2003. 1:09 am. Halloween Happenings!

Tonight OSU sponsored a halloween party in the student union, and I ended up volunteering to help. We did this whole big haunted house in many of the downstairs rooms. I helped create a "jungle room" with fake plants and all sorts of things, and then I got asked to work as one of the actors in the room who would jump out and scare people. I ended up dressed in a long brown robe and wolf mask, with makeup on my hands and arms. Not exactly what I'd volunteered for, but whatever. Then I worked the room for some time as students came through. It was lit only by a strobe light, and there were three of us in there who would scream and growl and jump out from behind the plants; one was a panther, the other the grim reaper, and me, the wolf.

Throughout all of this, me growling and jumping around, people screaming, and the incessant flashing of the strobe light, Chester did a down-stay in the back corner of the room behind the plants where I was hiding, and SLEPT. He didn't care one whit about all the noise and screaming and costumes. He wasn't stressed, he didn't bark or get nervous, he slept the entire time, and he snored, and dreamed. I fully expected him to be worried, and if he was I didn't plan on staying in the room. I would have sought out another capacity in which I could have been useful. But he was an absolute angel. He looked at me funny when I first put the costume on, then when I said "hey, it's me," that was all he needed. He was prancing around the hall with me like it was the greatest thing on earth. I've never been more proud of anything than I was of him tonight. He is my rock, and he wowed me with his stability and lack of reactiveness. If he can get through that without batting an eye, I'd be willing to bet he can get through ANYTHING.
After all of that, we volunteered at other activities for a while, and he did down-stays during all of them, totally relaxed, even when people were trying to pet him. He absolutely amazed me. So he got big hugs for being so good, and some extra dinner when we got home. *big huge grins*

What a dog!!!!!

Current mood: ecstatic.

(Give a dog a bone)

17th October, 2003. 12:10 pm.

What a morning!

Chester and I were on our way to band, and I was moving rather quickly, because I was in a hurry. All of the sudden there's a jerk on the leash, he's stopped dead in his tracks. I'll admit I wasn't paying attention before we hit the extent of the leash...
Anyway, I look back, and for the briefest second I thought he was sitting, but then I notice that he's actually squatting, and POOPING right in the middle of the sidewalk!!!!!!!! I was mortified. I absolutely blew my top, and dragged him, still in a squat, over to the nearest patch of grass. I said words this morning that I haven't used in a long time, and most certainly never in polite company. And he looked at me like he had no idea what he had done wrong! I haven't been so angry in a long time. I thought I could trust him not to behave like that, especially since I'd just asked him if he'd needed to potty five minutes before, and gave him some time, and he'd just stood there and stared at me like "why aren't we leaving?? why are we standing here?!" AGHHHHH!!!!!! I was SO pissed. I couldn't even look at him all during band. And then to make matters worse, he started not listening to me when I told him to sit or stay or heel because he was too busy worrying that I was mad at him, which made me even angrier. So we're going to take a break from each other for a while. I'm going to ignore him, and take a nap, and maybe I won't be so mad when I wake up, and he'll stop being freaked out and trying to lick me or crawl in my lap. I'm too angry for those gestures to even make it better right now. I'm usually pretty forgiving, but I'm really upset with him.

(1 bone Give a dog a bone)

14th October, 2003. 11:08 pm.

Tonight we worked on opening and closing drawers and the refrigerator. Ches opens the fridge if the door isn't completely closed, so our next goal is to work it completely closed. He whacks it with his paw to close it, it's cute, he's really enthusiastic. He's doing well.

(Give a dog a bone)

14th October, 2003. 10:58 pm.

I found some super pins at
http://www.safetystore.com/newpins.asp

They say medical assistant on them and have a Caduceus design superimposed over the star of life. I bought two, one for each side of Chester's vest. They might help people get a better idea of what he does for me without bothering me all the time. Here's hoping, huh? I can't wait to get my hands on them. Here's a link to the pic:
http://www.safetystore.com/images/Prestige/PM1006.jpg

(Give a dog a bone)

13th October, 2003. 10:11 pm. Frustrations!

Is it okay for me to want to strangle everyone I hear making comments about my service dog??? Because that's what I've been wanting to do this last week or so... I'm so tired of listening to people talk about me like I'm not even there when they're standing directly in front of or behind me, so tired of hearing them go "why does she get to have a dog in here" or "I want to bring my dog here, too." I'm sick of students with no authority prying into my business and telling me that I'm not allowed to have a dog in the dorm, or standing on the elevator glaring at me and saying loudly that we obviously don't have enough security in Baker hall because I have a dog and am breaking the rules, even though Ches is wearing his vest and it's pointed right at them, or closing the door in my face and glaring at me when I have the audacity to swipe my card and walk in. I'm sick of people in the cafeteria reporting me to their supervisor every time I come in with Chester, and then standing there and shaking their heads at me, or asking over and over again why I have the dog when this same woman has been told MULTIPLE TIMES that he is a service dog and he is allowed, including by her manager. I'm sick of every time I go out having people ask me about my disability and tell me that I don't have the right to have a service dog there, even though Federal laws say otherwise. I'm getting really fed up with trying to get on a bus around here, and being looked at weird by other pasengers or having people get up and move away from me, or having the driver radio in to their dispatchers even though I've told him that I have a service dog for a medical condition and I've ridden this same bus with the same driver several times before. I'm tired of being yelled at in stores, of having everyone look at me like I'm from another planet, of people glaring at me or treating me like a leper because I have a dog with me. I have people cross to the other side of the street when they see me coming with Chester, and people who take one look at him in stores and turn tail and head in the opposite direction. Then I get those who argue with me that I don't have a disability and that I have no right to be using a service dog, even though these people are complete strangers who know nothing about me. Along those same lines there are those who hint that I've somehow taken someone else's service dog and am using it for gain.
I'm just so irritated with the world right now that even when a group of schoolkids on a tour of the campus walked past me today with a chorus of "ooh, look at the doggie!" and shrieks of delight, instead of smiling and being tolerant and thinking "hey, they're kids" I simply wanted to shout at them. I told my friend this evening that I was feeling mildly homicidal, and the next person who told me I couldn't have my service dog somewhere was going to get strangled...and I was only a little more than half joking. He laughed and said I should buy a foam baseball bat and just start whacking people with it. It seems a delightfully tempting idea. The old t-shirt "I have one nerve left, and you're getting on it" seems highly appropriate about now. I'm so pissed that I can practically feel my hair frizzing, just like the picture on the shirt, and my eyes and face getting red, and that vein starting to twitch...
They told me at the doctor's last week that my blood pressure was high. Is it any wonder???!

(2 bones Give a dog a bone)

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